The Source: Indian Myth and Legend by Donald A. Mackenzie, verse Ramayana, The Epic of Rama, Prince of India
It was a sunny afternoon in Colorado along the Rocky Mountains, when Paul, Matthew and Olivia decided to go on camping trip. Paul and Matthew were two brothers that had been close all their lives. Paul was the oldest and at 26, was married to Olivia. As they were hiking along the trails with all their gear, they saw so many beautiful sights. From the river streaming below the mountain, to the deer drinking from the lake, there was natural beauty all around them. As they neared the camping ground, the excitement built. Once they arrived, they pulled out their tents and began to set up their camping site. Olivia was so excited she could not stop running around and talking at a million words per minute. Paul, the more quiet of the two, was busy at work setting up the tent. Matthew was being his easy go self and cracking jokes at everything. They fished in the river for their dinner and cooked the fish over a warm fire. The smell of the cooking fish dispersed throughout the forest, and it wasn't too hard for a hungry bear to pick up on the scent. This wasn't any average bear though, this was a hungry mamma bear looking for food for her cubs. So as the bear approached the camp, she got louder and louder. Paul, Matthew and Olivia heard this bear coming from a mile away, and they needed to think of a get away plan quick. Paul remembered that he had packed a tranquilizer bow and arrow set in his camping gear, so he instructed Olivia and Matthew to hide in the bush while he attempted to subdue the bear. Even one shot would slow the bear down so they could escape. As the bear came nearer, Paul focused his arrow on the approaching sound and when the bear came through the trees, he shot the arrow straight into the arm of the bear. As the bear fell down to take a quick nap, Paul, Olivia and Matthew grabbed as much of their stuff that they could and booked it out of there.
(Rama, Sita and Lakshmana: wikipedia)
Hey Anna!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your story a lot. I feel that your Author’s note did a great job in describing what we were going to be presented with. I like how you made the story more American than most. What I liked was that you presented me with three easy to identify characters and a setting that is familiar to me. It was enjoyable that this story did not end in heartbreak like the original one. Although, I did think it might have been interesting if one of the friends had perished so that way it was in line with the original story. Honestly, it was hard for me to give you suggestions because I feel that your story is so beautifully written. Maybe one suggestion would have been to make Paul, Anna, Matthew’s encounter with the bear last a little bit longer and for them to fight the bear some. Overall, I really enjoyed this story and cannot wait to read more.
Hey Anna,
ReplyDeleteI do want to say that it seems that Olivia turned into Anna at one point and that kind of confused me. I did like the detail you gave about the scenery. This definitely was a lighter version of this story as compared to the original. It’s interesting that you kind of dehumanized Shurpanakha even though, she isn’t really a human at all. You showed her kind of as her instincts are. Her lust was a bit animalistic, though she tried to be more cautious and clever by gaining a human form. Overall I think this was a good retelling of the story.
Hi Anna! I liked how your story was a modern adaptation on the Ramayana, rather than taking what would seem to be an easier route in repeating the story from the original characters perspectives. I think the camping trip idea fits perfectly with the original story, and is a fun way to think of 14 years of exile. This story was easy and fun to read, and I think this would explain the story very well to a modern audience.
ReplyDeleteHowdy Anna, yet again I think you’ve done a great job rebranding the Ramayana, retelling a tale in a fresh way. I thought it was really interesting reskinning Shurpanakha as a bear, rather than having the standard pseudo-love triangle dialogue ring out. It seems to be somewhat a comment on how primitive her attraction to Rama is; she acts purely physically without spending the time to allow emotions to enter the equation. Is there any significance to having her take form as a bear, rather than any other animal? She’s somewhat a pest in the Ramayana, so I feel she could be a number of animals. If you had her manifest as a fly, or mosquito or some such annoyance, would that drastically alter the story? Or would you be playing more into her being a joke to Rama, a minor annoyance, as in the tale Rama simply casts her aside lightly.
ReplyDelete